37 Weeks

Tomorrow I will be 37 weeks and 5 days along with Miss Ella, exactly the length of my pregnancy with Preston. My water broke in the middle of the night with him so every night this week when I go to sleep I think "Will it happen tonight?!?"

I did not experience any Braxton Hicks contractions with Preston or any false labor but this pregnancy has been totally different in that regard. I have contractions all the time and have been for the last month or so. I'm nervous that I won't be able to tell the difference if the real ones come along without my water breaking.  Mom assures me I will :)

Blake is getting anxious and calling me all day to make sure everything is okay. He is ready for baby girl to be here. I am definitely ready to meet this sweetie pie but I still have some nesting to finish! For example, I have been working on curtains for her room and finished one panel yesterday but still have one to go. Let's cross our fingers I can get it done during naptime today. I did manage to finish appliqueing/monogramming a Big Bro shirt for Preston so that's one more thing checked off the list.

Ella's room still has some tweaking to be done and more things put up on the walls but if I can't get it all done IT WILL BE OKAY, or that's what I keeping trying to tell myself when I start hyperventilating about it.

I have nice goals each day of getting certain things accomplished and sometimes I get them done and sometimes I just can't do it. I am definitely at the very uncomfortable point in pregnancy and physically I just wimp out easily. Between the bulging abdomen, contractions, and constant pressure, it gets a little tough. Oh yeah, I can't really breathe anymore either. You don't want to see me after a walk up a flight of stairs. And when did the nausea decide to make a reappearance? Well, it never really left me completely but it has stepped up a notch these last few weeks. I am also battling the fat foot again. I had one ankle/foot swell with Preston and it's back! I think it's worse that it's only one foot because you can see the obvious difference in my normal one. The doctor says it's just the way the baby is laying. It's not painful but kind of annoying and definitely not cute. I really am ready to feel like a normal person again. Can you tell? Don't get me wrong. I love being able to carry a child in my tummy and feel these kicks and movements. There is nothing like it in this world and I am so thankful for it. And the love I have for my children is unexplainable. They are worth every minute of discomfort. I guess being at the end of my pregnancy I'm just ready to meet this precious baby and get myself normal again and start our family of four :)

I went to the doctor this past Friday (today is Wed) and I was 2 cm dilated and 50% effaced (thinned out). I go back tomorrow for another check-up so we will see if I have progressed anymore!

I can't believe she could be here any day. I'm trying to snuggle with Preston and soak up these last few days with him as my only child. I pray he adjusts well to his new baby sister and honestly, I really think he will. I just know the first few days and weeks will be the most trying for him so please say a prayer that all goes well!

And speaking of going well, I would appreciate prayers for labor and delivery to go smoothly too. I am so nervous! My epidural wore off with Preston so I basically had him naturally and the thought of doing it that way again REALLY freaks me out. I know women have done it since the beginning of time but it was not a fun experience. But, hopefully everything will go okay this time and I pray that God will keep his hand over us no matter what happens.

My sis-in-law took some maternity pictures on Sunday for me so I'm sharing a few of my favorites. Can't wait to meet our little Ella!

Okay, I am off to finish curtains now.

My Lola

Please note this post was typed up on Thursday night but not posted until today, Monday.

My little Lolee girl, my sweet and doting little pet is gone. I am truly heartbroken at losing her. Those who don't have pets or those who aren't "animal people" probably don't understand my grief. This little furry bundle has been following me around for nearly five years, fretting if she looked up and couldn't see me, who got ridiculously excited whenever I walked in the door, and snuggled in between Blake and I in the bed every night.  This little dog who loved me unconditionally and looked to me to care for her and in the end I couldn't save her. She got so sick within a few days time, declining significantly with each passing day. The veterinarian diagnosed her with pancreatitis, a heart murmur and she had dangerously high levels in her kidneys, liver and glucose. It was very grim. I took her home and kept her hydrated with Pedialyte in a syringe. She had stopped drinking on her own the day before and was so weak she could barely stand. Whenever she would need to go outside and use the bathroom she would get up and walk to find me. I was so proud of her. She has had potty problems in the past so knowing she was using all of her energy to "hold it" and not have an accident in the house even though she was so sick just breaks my heart. By the next day, her last day, she couldn't even stand long enough to use the bathroom. And still she held it all day. I took her out in the backyard with Blake and Preston while it was so warm and sunny and took some pictures of my sweet girl. By evening she could not breathe well and was getting colder. She tried to get up and move around, probably from discomfort and all I could do was try to help her. I told her how special she was and that I loved her very much. I told her she was such a good girl. I took her up to bed with me around 11:00 p.m. and snuggled her in between Blake and myself. I fell asleep and woke around 1:00 to check on her and she wasn't breathing. I listened to her little chest but it was silent. I pulled her in my lap and could see there was no longer any life left in her. It's a horrible thing to see and I will never forget it. I wrapped her in a towel and just held for a while, not wanting to let her go. I finally laid her in a cat bed we had and tried to sleep for a few hours. Blake got up early that morning and dug her a place to be buried in our backyard. I kept her in the cat bed because she always loved to sleep on comfy pillows and blankets.

Every time I pass by the windows overlooking our backyard I see the fresh dirt where her little grave is and it just plain hurts. I miss her so much. Since I am a stay at home mom I am just so used to having her right beside me all day. She would always bark when someone knocked on the door or rang the doorbell and I still catch myself whipping around to stop a bark whenever I hear a knock at the door. I still look over my shoulder to see if she's following me and I still think every night before I go to bed that I need to let Lola outside to potty. I also still rush to grab food that Preston drops so I can beat Lola to it. She was like a little vacuum. I know all of this is habit and it will eventually fade away but I will always miss her. At the new house she liked to curl up under the big office desk (the previous owners left it for us) and I'm sitting here now typing and wishing she was snuggled up down there by my feet.

Our cat has done his best to make me feel better, snuggling with me more and following me around more. I know he realizes something is wrong. He loved Lola too, would snuggle with her and play with her all the time. One of the hardest things now is listening to Preston ask about her. It's been one week ago tonight since she passed and up until yesterday he has only mentioned her a handful of times. But all day yesterday and today he has asked about Lola continuously. He holds his hands up and says "Lola?" and I have to tell him that Lola went bye-bye and he says "oh". Today I took him to my parents house and he wanted to feed my mom's dogs. He went to the pantry and saw Lola's food bin that I had given to my mom for her dogs. Mom said he got so excited, running through the house calling for Lola. It's like it dawned on him that Lola must be at their house since we had told him she went bye-bye. Then my brother and sister-in-law came to our house tonight and when they walked in he started asking them "Lola? Lola?" It's like he thinks someone has her and so he's going to ask everyone now. I just hate that I can't explain it to him. He has no way to grasp it. He loves her so much and she was always so patient with him, putting up with tugging and pulling and squealing. I'm so glad he had her, even if it was for a short time. The morning we buried Lola he was still asleep but woke up about 30 minutes afterwards. I went to his room and opened his curtains and blinds which overlooks the backyard. He went straight to the window and looked out and said "Lola". It was the strangest thing because he knows that Lola is always inside unless we are out there. It's like he knew in some way that she was out there.

I wanted to get some of this off my chest and down "in writing" as some sort of relief. I also wanted to share some of her little habits and funny things so I don't ever forget them. For my birthday, June 4, 2007, Blake came home carrying his golf bag in the house. He asked me to get a golf ball out of the side pocket (which I thought kind of strange) and when I opened the pocket this tiny little fur ball wriggled out. She was absolutely adorable. I fell in love immediately. Anyone who met Lola knew she liked food because she was definitely overweight. I called her a little piggy because she would grunt and snort like a pig sometimes when she slept. She would eat almost anything if given the opportunity. We never gave out table food to her but she would be sneaky sometimes and manage it on her own...or with the help of Preston. We were working on her weight issue and she began to lose weight rapidly in the last few weeks before she got sick. I stupidly thought it was attributed to the stairs in the new house but it was probably just an early symptom of her illness. She had lost 7 of her 22 pound frame when she died. I couldn't believe it. One thing I wish I had on video was the little "train" that happened when Preston would have a snack, usually goldfish. Preston would run with his cup of goldfish chasing the cat and Lola would be chasing Preston hoping he dropped a goldfish in the process. So the cat would come running by followed by Preston squealing and then Lola right behind him. It was hilarious. I don't know if it was some kind of little dog syndrome but Lola has never liked strangers and barking was her defense of choice. She was territorial at home and at my parents house but she wouldn't bark if she was anywhere else. Whenever we drove to my parents house she would either sense or smell when we were close to the neighborhood because she would wake from her snooze in the passenger seat and go berserk with excitement. She loved my parents. Her groomer always went on and on how sweet she was and how she never tried to snap at them or anything. She truly was a sweet girl. She just had a bad reputation because of that bark. It's so strange to think I won't ever hear it again, or her little pig snort. She had the softest little head and ears and to think about not ever petting her again makes me want to cry. She was my first dog of my own and first little dog in my lifetime. We always had big outdoor dogs growing up. I have never lost a pet that was so close to me. And it's hard. Have I mentioned that? Thankfully, we have had to stay busy at the new house getting things settled and ready for when Ella gets here. I'm sad that she won't ever know Lola. I'm getting better as the days go on but I still have my moments when I have to just cry it out. It's all a huge adjustment for me but I will be okay. Just taking it one day at a time.

I have several pictures of my girl from puppyhood to recently that I wanted to share. If you made it to the end of my post, thank you. She was definitely worth blogging about and very special to me.

I love you, Lola girl

Baby Lola

Buddies

Halloween Bunko one year. Lola and I won Best Costume

Her first haircut

Sunbathing with her brother

She loved to snuggle with us

My girl's last day

Preston checking on her. He loved her so much

My sweet girl

I will always miss you, Lola.

28 Weeks

Wow, I feel like this pregnancy is flying by so quickly now. Our sweet girl is going to be here so soon! And we have lots to do before then. We said our goodbyes to our old house (tear) and have now been living at my parents house since the beginning of January. We FINALLY found the house we want and put a contract on it last week. If all goes as planned we should be closing at the end of February. Yay! I'm so relieved. I was beginning to think we would never find the right one but thank the Lord we did. And I should have just enough time to get things settled before Little Miss decides to make her appearance. As for a name, it will be for sure be Ella but we haven't nailed down the middle name. I'm sure that will be finalized soon once Blake can make a commitment to one :) He just wants her name to be perfect :)

Okay, let's see. As far as pregnancy goes, I am doing well but I have definitely slowed down a great deal. My stomach hurts a lot and I'm just generally uncomfortable but I know all that is normal. As of my 26 week check up I have gained 15 pounds total. I wouldn't be surprised if it was already more at my 28 week check up this coming Friday. I also failed my glucose screening at that visit. Talk about a bummer. I passed it with Preston so I definitely didn't expect to fail this time. So I went last week and had the 3 hour test performed (ugh, it was not fun) and I passed! But up until the end I thought there was a good chance I would fail again. What they do is have you drink an entire bottle of the glucola liquid. It's kind of like a sweeter/syrupy Hawaiian Punch. Gag, right? Oh and I couldn't have anything but water after midnight the night before so it was not pleasant. Anyway, once you drink it they check your blood sugar level every hour for 3 hours and it should go down below a certain number in order to pass. I passed after the first hour and was feeling very excited and then I failed the second hour. Geez! It was supposed to be under 155 and mine was 159. So here I was at the tie breaker after the third hour and it was supposed to be under 140...and it was 124!!! I am so thankful! It would have been tough to be on the special diet for gestational diabetes. So after that good report and a Chick-Fil-A nugget meal I was feeling much better :)

Also at my 26 week visit my doctor measured my tummy for the first time...and I measured at 29 weeks. Yikes! But I also measured a few weeks ahead with Preston too. He was 3 weeks early and weighed 7 lb 15 oz. I have a feeling this one may decided to come early too which will be a good thing if she continues to measure so big! My doctor wasn't worried about anything but said she will keep an eye on her.

Preston is so cute now when we talk about the baby. He pulls my shirt up to see my belly and says "Baby Sisser" and then kisses my tummy. It's just precious. He also picks up some tiny hair bows that are hers and says the same thing. I think he's going to be such a good big brother...until she wants some of his toys. We will just cross that bridge when we get to it :)

Ella moves around a TON. I can't remember if Preston was this active but this baby girl is always on the move. My belly just bounces and wobbles constantly, even while I'm walking around. It almost throws me off balance. I think she's sassy already.

I have some pregnancy progression photos that I will post soon but I need an updated one first. And hopefully we will have 4D pics of our sweet girl within the next few weeks!

Farewell Magnolia South

We're moving. I can't believe it. Funny how things work out. Our house had been on the market for six months and at the end of November we decided to take it off the market and start getting things ready for Baby Girl. We didn't have HAVE to move, just wanted to find something with a little more space. So we had just convinced ourselves that we were just fine in our little house when we got one final showing. And it's been a crazy few weeks since then. Our goal is to close on the house at the end of the month but now it's looking like we may get pushed back another week. Oh yeah, has anyone mentioned that Christmas is only five days before the end of the month? Holy moly, all rolled into one week we have to pack, celebrate Christmas, move the majority of our stuff into storage and move ourselves into my parents house. And being five months pregnant doesn't make the situation any easier.

But with that said we are really looking forward to this new change in our lives and thankful for the opportunity to do so since selling a house in this market is quite the task. I can't help but feel bittersweet about the whole situation though. We have been in this house for five years and brought our baby home to this house. When we were first married we lived in a town home for about 11 months before we moved here. I boo hooed the day we left that little town home so I can only imagine how I will feel when we leave here...especially since pregnancy hormones are involved this time around.

Side note: I got a small taste of what moving day is going to be like. We sold our dining room table and chairs on Craigslist. The other night the buyers came to get the table and I almost shed a tear when they carried it out. We bought it right after we got married and although it was my idea to sell it for a different one, I couldn't help but feel a little choked up seeing it go. Ugh, I hate being such a sap.

One of my main concerns is the change for Preston. He loves his house and I just hope he adjusts well to a new one...when we find it! We've been looking but haven't made any decisions yet. So in the meantime we will be staying with my parents. We don't have much time to decide though since Baby Girl will be here in April!

I guess that's enough mushing on my house. Thought I would share a couple of pictures of our little abode.

Our house has come a long way since the builder beige construction days...

Two Year Old Big Boy

Our sweet Preston is two years old. I can't believe my boy is growing so quickly. He is at such a fun age. He constantly surprises us with new things he has learned, especially when it's something we haven't taught him. For example, just this week he started calling "Help!" when he wakes from nap and in the mornings. I didn't even realize he knew the word much less how to use it. I must say it is pretty comical to hear him in there. He doesn't scream it like something is really wrong. It's just our alert to come get him.

He is such a tender-hearted little guy and just so sweet. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not one of those moms who thinks my kid does no wrong. He has his temper tantrum moments just like everybody else. If he gets really mad he will yell and hit the wall or a chair or whatever is closest to him. He doesn't hit people though so I am thankful for that. But for the most part, he is such a happy and loving little boy. He randomly runs over to me throughout the day to give me a hug and kiss, leaning in and saying "MaaaaMaaa" all drawn out and sweet. He loves to hug everyone (people he knows) and tells everything bye...I mean everything. When we are in the car and turn off one road to another he tells the first road road bye-bye. If he leaves his sippy cup in another room and I tell him to go get it, he tells me bye before he goes to get it. He usually blows a kiss too. Well, he kisses his hand but doesn't do much blowing.

He can be clingy for sure but for the most part he is okay with us leaving him to go somewhere. When we drop him off at the nursery at church or for my weekly bible study, he is usually fine to say "Bye Mama" while I leave. I think he finally understands that even if we leave we will be back to get him.

He is obsessed with my Dad. I mean obsessed. He loves his Grandmama and his Nana but that Granddaddy or "NanNanny" is his buddy. Every time I tell him we are going somewhere he says "NanNanny?" I'm so thankful for it. He is Preston's only granddad but he is definitely as good as two!

Preston's favorite things are cars, trucks, choo-choos and any kind of ball. He loves footballs and basketballs. It's so funny that since football season is here he watches Blake and how he reacts to the TV so now when he sees football on he says "Football, yeah!!" while clenching his fists. He loves to be like  his Daddy.

He knows most of his body parts and can point to everything. My favorite is asking where his teeth are and he gives me a big cheesy grin. So cute. He also knows his farm animals and most of the sounds they make. He usually speaks in two word sentences. He has a hard time pronouncing some of his words but he is definitely improving.  There are several words that Blake and I understand but that others might not get at first. For example, his "Excuse Me" sounds like "MeMe". It's funny because he tells us "Excuse Me" but tells our dog and cat "Move!" if they are in his way.

We're working on colors and yellow and blue are probably the two he recognizes the easiest. He also loves to count in his own special way. We count his fingers to ten and he tries to copy us but just says "five" ten times instead. We'll get there buddy.

He is also talking back to the TV now. A lot of times on the cartoons they will ask a question that the viewer is supposed to answer yes or no. The first few times the suggestion is wrong and they say "no" and then by the third try it's a "yes". Preston has realized how many times they say no and actually answers the questions right. Of course he doesn't know what they are asking but he thinks he does apparently :)

He still loves to eat. He weighed 33 pounds at his two year check up which is the 97th percentile. The nurse says he was 3 feet tall but the doctor said Preston was in the 32nd percentile for height. I tried to measure him again and he is about 35 inches so close enough I guess.

Since he is now two and has no problem with nourishment, we are cutting off the whole milk. Reduced fat for now and maybe 1% later on if he needs too. He is still fairly picky. His favorites are chicken nuggets or fingers. He won't eat grilled chicken though. He will also eat beef roast or "meat" as he calls it. He still loves Arby's roast beef too. He really only likes corn or green peas as far as vegetables. He will some okra though too. He loves french fries but who doesn't? He also loves fruit and yogurt too. And cheese! Gosh he loves string cheese and grilled cheese sandwiches. More favorites are fruit loops and cheerios. And of course, cookies or "tookies". He either wants a "tookie" or a popsicle for a treat. Just in recent months he started eating macaroni and cheese. I think it was the texture he didn't like at first but now it's definitely a favorite. Italian pasta salad is a favorite too. Okay, enough food talk.

Preston loves to play with other kids and really has a blast with his cousins and friends at playgroup. Our next door neighbors have three kids that are all between the ages of 5-12 and Preston just watches them in awe. The boys will play basketball outside and Preston makes me take him over there to watch. They are so sweet to let him have a turn too. I really hope he enjoys being a big brother in a few months. I think it will definitely be an adjustment for him but I really think he will enjoy having a sibling.

Tis all for now on my big boy two year old. I will be back sooner than later with a party post!

Lots to Talk About

Holy Moly. I am so behind with this blog it's just ridiculous. I'm hoping I can sum up the past few months in a not-too-long-and-borish kind of way.

Let's start for the main reason for my slacking. I found out I was pregnant on August 8th and within two weeks I was completely overcome with morning sickness. And folks, it is just now easing up on me. Whew, it has been a rough few months for this mama. Although being that sick is AWFUL, I can't help but be thankful for it too. I had a miscarriage the month before this pregnancy (which was also the exact thing that happened with Preston).

So while being sick we went to the beach for Labor Day with my family, started fun fall festivities by visiting the pumpkin patch and our church fall festival. We also made Halloween cookies and had fun trick-or-treating at my brother's house for Halloween. Preston was Mickey Mouse this year and was just adorable (as you can see below).  We also took Preston to his first Auburn game and he had a great time. We were able to stay the whole game despite it being a night game. He is a trooper that's for sure. We also took him to Disney on Ice with his cousins. He actually liked it too! Maybe we will try the circus this year...

And in addition to all that I was in full party planning mode. I helped host a baby tea for my sweet friend, Amber over at our house and had Preston's birthday party two weeks later...also at the house. So we have been pretty busy around the Mosley household. Speaking of Preston's birthday though, I will be doing a separate post on his two year stats and party fun. I can't believe our boy is two!

As for our new little one, we were able to hear the heartbeat at 6 weeks and everything looked great, went back at 10 weeks and again had an ultrasound and everything looked wonderful. I went in for my 15 week check-up on Halloween morning. We had opted to have the quad screen test done that screens for chromosomal problems with the baby, including Down's Syndrome. They simply draw some blood to be sent off. I had the same thing done with Preston. It's a completely optional test that I never thought too much about until I got a call this past Tuesday from my doctor herself.

I knew it wasn't a good thing when I heard her voice instead of the nurse. I had just stepped into the elevator at bible study but thankfully I was able to keep enough cell service to hear what she had to say. My quad screen had come back abnormal for Down's. It was such a shock. I never gave the test a second thought once I left her office that day. I guess I naively thought nothing could be wrong with MY baby. After lots of tears of fear, worry and confusion, I took down as much information as I could from the doctor and tried to get a hold of myself. We were to go to UAB two days later for a Level II ultrasound, genetic counseling and a possible amniocentesis. My doctor tried to put me somewhat at ease by informing me that the quad screen is simply that, a screening, not a diagnosis. The "normal" range for someone my age and race gives the chance of Down's Syndrome as 1/900. My screening came back with a 1/160 chance, therefore flagging the doctor's to do further testing.

It's amazing how God can work in you in a situation like this. My first reaction was a bit of the typical freak-out when you first hear scary news. But as the afternoon wore on, I just suddenly started feeling a peace about it all. I knew the false positive rate for these quad screen tests were high, therefore the chances of absolutely nothing being wrong with my baby were good. However, it wasn't just thinking about it that way. It was thinking that no matter what the end result is, this baby would not be loved any less. If God chose Blake and I to parent a special needs child, it to me is a blessing in itself that he believes and trusts in us to raise a child with those needs.

After lots and lots of prayer from us and our wonderful family and friends, we went yesterday for our ultrasound, already deciding that an amniocentesis wasn't going to be an option. This procedure entails extracting amniotic fluid from the baby's sac and sending off to the lab to get a more confirming answer as to whether the baby does in fact have a chromosomal problem. However, there is a risk to the baby during the extraction process including infection and spontaneous miscarriage. It wasn't worth it to us to potentially put our baby in danger just to get a better answer.

The Level II ultrasound is a sharper, clearer picture that gives a better visual of the baby. The doctor himself examined me looking for any physical markers of Down's. He checked everything, all parts of the brain and heart and other organs. All appeared perfectly normal. Although all looked well, our risk was only cut in half, giving us a 1/320 chance of having a child with Down's. Like I said, the amniocentesis could have potentially ruled out more and given us better odds if it looked good, but it just wasn't worth it to us. I can't explain how much better I feel about this whole situation. Yes, there is still a chance of Down's but it's not something I feel stressed or anxious about anymore. I will do some research on it to hopefully educate myself a bit more but we are just excited to be having this sweet baby. I'm so thankful for God's perfect peace!

And a little something else we got to find out...IT'S  GIRL!!!!! I have had a feeling all along it was a girl but it was still a big surprise to actually hear and see it! Oh my heart is so full. We have our precious boy and now a girl. I keep picturing a little Preston with long hair and a bow, ha ha. It's hard to believe we will be buying PINK stuff. We had a fun gender reveal at our house last night and enjoyed sharing the news about our sweet girl. I made cupcakes with strawberry frosting as a filling for the "gender reveal surprise". Here are a few pictures from our night. And I might add, we are officially partied out now. Whew! I am done for a while...maybe :)

Enjoy!